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Sex During Menopause: What’s Changing, What’s Normal, and What You Absolutely Deserve to Know

Sex During Menopause: What’s Changing, What’s Normal, and What You Absolutely Deserve to Know

Let’s be honest: no one prepares you for this part.

Yes, we hear about hot flashes and the happy-to-unhinged mood swings. But the truth is, menopause can shake up your sex life (and desire for sex in general) in ways that feel confusing, frustrating, and more than a little unfair.

If you’ve found yourself thinking “Where did my sex drive go?” or “Why does everything feel… different?” — you’re not alone. You’re not broken. And you are absolutely not the only one asking those questions.

Here’s everything we all should have been told sooner — no judgment or shame allowed.

First: Yes, It’s Normal (But That Doesn’t Mean It’s Easy)

Hormones are powerful. During menopause, levels of estrogen and testosterone decline — and with them can go your libido, natural lubrication, and that easy sense of “yes, I’m in the mood.”

According to the North American Menopause Society, up to 85% of women experience changes in sexual function during and after menopause. That includes lower desire, vaginal dryness, discomfort during sex, and a feeling that your body just doesn’t respond the way it used to.

You’re not imagining it.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re navigating a biological shift that affects every part of how you feel — emotionally, physically, and sexually.

What’s Actually Happening in Your Body?

Estrogen Drops = Less Natural Lubrication

Estrogen helps keep vaginal tissues thick, elastic, and lubricated. When it drops, you may notice dryness, itching, or even pain during sex. This is known as Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM) — and while it’s common, it’s also incredibly under-discussed.

Testosterone Declines = That “Spark” Might Dim

Testosterone supports libido in women, too — and when it dips, so can your interest in sex. This doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. But it might take more intention, support, or a little experimentation to get things going again.

Stress, Sleep, and L.I.F.E.™

Let’s not forget: menopause often shows up right when life is already a lot. Aging parents. Work stress. Teenagers. Sleepless nights. Body changes. All of it can add up to feeling disconnected from yourself — and from desire.

What You Can Do (Yes, There’s Help!)

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but there are options. You don’t have to suffer in silence or push through pain. Here are a few places to start:

1. Lube Is Love

Seriously. Make it your best friend. Look for high-quality, water- or silicone-based options that are body-safe and designed for sensitive skin. You deserve comfort.

2. Moisturizers (Yes, For Down There)

These aren’t just for the moment — they’re for everyday vaginal health. Regular use can help keep tissues hydrated and reduce discomfort over time.

3. Local Estrogen Therapy

Low-dose estrogen, applied directly to the vaginal area, can dramatically improve symptoms like dryness and irritation — without affecting the rest of your body the way systemic HRT might.

4. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

For some women, systemic HRT can help restore hormonal balance more broadly, including mood, sleep, and libido. It’s not right for everyone, but it’s certainly worth discussing with a provider you trust.

5. Talk It Out (With a Real Provider — Or a Therapist)

Sex isn’t just physical — it’s emotional, too. If you’re feeling disconnected or unsure how to talk about what’s going on (with your partner or yourself), you’re not alone. Therapy — especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) — has been shown to help many women rediscover pleasure and desire in new ways.

What About Natural Support?

If you’re not ready for hormones — or you simply want to try a more gentle approach first — there are also science-backed natural options that can help improve sexual well-being and reduce symptoms like low libido, dryness, or mood changes.

Think of this as support from the inside out — adaptogens, nutrients, and plant-based support to help your body handle stress, stabilize mood, and feel more like you again.

For example:

  • Adaptogens like ashwagandha and cordyceps may help with energy, desire, and stress resilience

  • Nutrients like magnesium and zinc can support hormone metabolism and sexual function

  • Specific herbal blends (like sage and magnolia) can support menopausal symptoms naturally

And when you're supporting the root cause — like cortisol imbalance, which often goes hand-in-hand with hormone shifts — you’re giving your body what it needs to rebalance.

Want to go deeper? Read:
Natural Ways to Support Sex Drive During Menopause

What About Hormone Replacement Therapy?

HRT can be a powerful and effective option for many women — especially when it comes to managing vaginal dryness, mood swings, and the loss of natural estrogen and testosterone.

It’s not the right fit for everyone, but it is absolutely a valid, important option that has helped countless women feel more like themselves again. We are deeply supportive of any woman choosing HRT with her care team.

That said, it’s important to know that HRT doesn’t typically address cortisol, the stress hormone that often plays a huge role in libido, fatigue, mood, and motivation.

That’s why many women pair HRT with a cortisol-regulating supplement like Rebalance — to support both their hormonal rhythm and their stress response. This is especially important for those dealing with burnout, overwhelm, or that frustrating “my body still feels off” feeling, even on HRT.

Learn more here:
HRT, Cortisol, and Your Sex Drive: What You Need to Know

You’re Allowed to Change — and Still Want Pleasure

Here’s the most important part:
Sex doesn’t have to disappear during menopause. It just might need to evolve.

This chapter can be about rediscovering your body on your terms.
It can be slower, deeper, more connected — or it can be playful, adventurous, and totally surprising. It can look however you want it to. And if right now you don’t want sex? That’s okay too.

You’re still you.
You’re just navigating a new version — with more wisdom, more honesty, and a whole lot less time for things that don’t feel good.

Let’s Recap:

  • Menopause can absolutely impact your sex life — but that doesn’t mean it’s over.

  • Dryness, low libido, and emotional disconnection are common (and solvable).

  • You’ve got options: HRT, natural remedies, stress support, therapy — or a blend.

  • The most important thing is finding your path, with support and zero shame.

You deserve to feel connected to your body.
To experience pleasure.
To redefine what intimacy looks like for you now — and to feel good about that choice.